becoming the bottom of the water

rising waters 

coming over the high hills

how can these rains add up so fast?

flash flood like a slingshot

the water surface raises to the skies.

weighed down at the ankles

and i can't swim

someone turn off the hose

someone turn down the fans

the skies are black and the sound is deafening.

waters are rough and rushing
and i am sinking

i can only panic for so long

before the water enters my lungs

my throat is so hoarse from screaming so hard

my head is so cold from the water in my ears.

left all alone to sink to the bottom of the water

left all alone to sit at the bottom of the water

left all alone to breakdown at the bottom of the water

left all alone to become the bottom of the water.

the failing of the house of my family's name

the storms come in and blacken the skies

lightning strikes and illuminates the night

for a flashing split second, brighter than daylight

the witch's finger pushing me around.

i'm running out of time. no way out this time.

this shrinking heart of mine

tornado.

the failing of the house of my family's name

losing the doors and windows and walls.

i can see the shingles become shrapnel

penetrating buildings in the dark.

the floor is a mess of red

hail.

the yard is a mess of brown.

on angel's wings the reckoning comes

on devil's spears the reckoning stays.

retribution for sin, paying in advance

lightning.

in the path of the railroad of air

snaking across the yard.

whipping me too hard

ripping me apart

running out of space and time

coming down on this core of mine

silence.

freight train.

(implosion)

the names of people i used to kiss

headless angels

armless saints

rundown cemeteries

rundown faiths.

forgotten gravestones of weathered marble

forgotten lives and forgotten contribution.

how long will it take to completely forget someone?

when the ground consumes the coffin and body

when the weather has reclaimed the marble and granite stones

when the family has long since changed it's name.

is it then alright to remove the data on spreadsheets

that someone was there?

15 minutes of fame sound great but it doesn't get remembered.

i'm already

forgetting the names of people i used to kiss.

as the blood pools, the blood pulls

falling, failing, forfeiture.

freedom, farce.

showing one the door and pushing them out

into the cold are two different things.

the snow drifts are drifting up to my neck

as the blood pools, the blood pulls

the arms can't stop the shaking

and the arms are stretched to breaking.

feeling like i'm the only one to be so alone

as i am the only one alone in the streets

is reassuring.

the footsteps echo across the street

their delay betrays the silence.

no signs to point my way, no way to go anyway

with no where in mind i suppose i can't ever be lost.

the weights on my legs are slowing me down.

the weight on my shoulders are weighing my down

the wait i am hurrying up to get to is pointless yet inviting.

i can't drink you off my mind

i can't ask enough people to beat you out of my mind.

on the lonely streets, on the bloody steps

on the piss-soaked walkways i am falling fast into a daze

hurting myself for holding on so hard

to what i could never touch.

so far away, so hard to reach

so cold the night, so slow the time.

i've seen your new wings

full.

full to bursting.

communication complications

what was it that you said about space and time?

you wanted more of both? isn't there enough?

that was then, this is forever.

you promised forever, you promised.

that was then, this is never.

picking up the shed feathers

that landed everywhere in your flight

i've seen your new wings,

large and sepiatoned

they carried you far and fast

this cage is rusted

the one that i call home

my view never changes

with my head caught in the bars

it always wins in the end

i saw the heavy axes breaking the ground

defeating the cold rocks and frost

the soil greedily accepted the boxes without words

still seeming to ask for more

it is hungry, it always wins in the end.

there is nothing unnatural; all death is natural.

inescapable hand of fate typing out obituaries.

every day my feet get heavier

and my blood turns a shade darker

after a long night of running in circles in my sleep

the lead sinks hard to the bottom.

penitence for a life of waiting for the right moment

i failed myself so long ago

and i promised myself "never again"

but here i am

so here i go

getting up off my knees

getting to my own two feet.

planters

ironic how beautiful cemeteries

and crematoriums look.

the parade. the theme park of the dead.

the trees, the landscaping

feeding off of the dead we plant. human plant spikes.

cancer, heart disease, industrial accidents:

the horrible suffering and despair we fight and defend against

yields blossoming trees, chirping birds, swirling fishes;

remind me what we are fighting for?