LXVIII

it sickens me to my mouth
"you'll get over this, you'll see."
"you'll change. i was like that, too."
fuck all.
saying my stream of experiences are
un- unique and all already played.
what good is choice in my life
if the ending is ultimately known?
what use is experiencing pain and despair
and hardship if it doesn't affect the outcome?
all those hours hoping i was right about the after- life
and all those times
i did right when no one was looking.
we already know who wins.
my life is a pre- viewed
vhs tape.
choice is shit.