XXXVII

this-
this is
this is damage.
this is damage control.
this is the us that we weren’t.
this is everything i can’t be
you, painted blue in a field of black
blink from out of existence
i know you’re there. you’re with the others
like (a)trophies, like lion’s heads on my wall.
but all in reverse. the opposite of pride.
the negative lions, the shame, in numbers.

the eternal smog, choking and stinging,
the rocky path; everywhere is uphill.
love sickness, this black thickness
behind the door i can never reach
between here and there between then and now
between the roots and the soil
between the soil and the air
between the air and space
between the stars between the lions
they are my lack of pride